After quite some time, a post from me. The 49th post! And this is inspired by few discussions with my friends on BC (Blog Catalog). For those of you who don't know, BC is a great place for bloggers to hang out and participate in discussions. Sometimes for knowledge, sometimes just for fun.
In that there was one discussion about the key words or the phrases that people type into Google or other search engines and from there arrive at your blog. For those of you who want to know how to find this out, there is one application called Google Analytics. If you get decent traffic or visitors to your blog, it is a good thing to have, to find out from where people are arriving at your blog, through what search engine etc. You have to put its code in your blogger HTML code and it tracks your blog and its statistics..lots of it like the number of visitors and many more.
So here are a few of the funny or weird searches through which people arrived on my blog. Sometimes it is not even clear how that particular search could have made those people land up on your blog!.......
I wonder if you have noticed this before in Google, since we all use it so frequently, while entering something in Google for search, it gives some suggestions and that is what I am going to put here. It is funny to see what kind of things people are generally looking for!
Here are the funny Google searches in order-
* Even if you don't have a Rubik's cube, you can use a Java virtual Rubik's cube HERE
What I am giving here won't be the fastest way to solve a Rubik's cube, you won't need to understand the whole mechanics but neither will you have to refer to anything or need external help after this help of mine of course! This is for those who can solve a bit of the cube, not whole or those who can do it by following a lot of algorithms from somewhere. With this, you will be able to solve the whole cube and only remembering a few easy algorithms.
Here are 10 interesting things that I have done, or have happened to me, worth telling -
( Not in any particular order)
1. Once in class 6th (grade) during examination, by mistake I was given the question paper of class 7th. Though a bit surprised initially, I nevertheless started writing the paper till the time the invigilator realized his mistake and took away that paper - shocked!
2. Once, for some reason, I was there with a friend and I wanted to come back home leaving him behind. I was on a small scooty type "Sunny" and he was on a bicycle and he too followed me and thus we raced ahead at full possible speed through the busy street, not slowing down even at turns, surprisingly and thankfully without any mishap.
3. Once I got some mouth ulcers and was unable to eat properly and was frustrated at it. I suddenly decided to have all my food in liquid form! So I had all the things- chapatis ( Indian flat bread)+ vegetables + rice + dal( Pulses- lentils) + mix vegetable raita + butter milk and whatever else was there put through the mixer and drank it all at once!
4. Once when I was on the terrace of my home, studying, suddenly out of nowhere, I felt as if someone had put a huge load on my head. I looked up and saw that it was a kite bird ( like eagle), it had landed on my head! It was quite huge and it was flying above me. Again suddenly it came, landed on my head and took off (as they pick up their prey) now I was quite confused and bewildered and was trying to see where it was and out of nowhere, it came for the third time and did the same! I came down after that. I still don't understand it!
5. This is not something big or funny but I find it somewhat surprising. At my home, my father was reversing the car and I was just directing from outside and a wheel of the car went over my foot. Though it wasn't a very big car, still I didn't feel anything, neither was I hurt at all. Surely, cars are quite heavy & might break bones if they go over, but nothing really happened to me. Not even a bruise!
6. Quite a few years ago when I was just a small child, a monitor lizard- kind of similar to Komodo dragon came into our home on the 3rd floor! It came inside and went in my room. I said to my mother as per my understanding that a 'great lizard' had come inside. My mother thought that it must be the common house lizard or the house gecko which must be a little bigger and didnot take it seriously which I didnot understand why and kept repeating it. Little did she know and we got the fright of our lives and somehow managed to get rid of it!
7. This too isn't something big, but in school, I was in the class and the teacher was dictating notes and we were taking them down. The teacher lost track of how much had been dictated and thus wanted to see and since at that time, she was near me, she tried to see my notes. Suddenly my eyes fell on a mistake that I had done and since I was considered quite a good student, I feared that if the teacher sees that, she will scold me so I just bravely put my hand across my notes to prevent the teacher from seeing it and she was again and again trying and asking me to let her see them and she sure was utterly bemused at my behaviour!
8. Once again as a small child, I once decided that I wanted to meet and see God and having been brought up on Indian mythology and spirituality and having heard great stories of people who had done lot of hard penences and things like that after which God appeared, I decided to do the same. So what I did was pulled up the skin on my forearm and twisted it and held it for some hours till the time my parents came back from their clinics and my mother rushed and asked me what I was doing and stopped me saying such things don't happen.
9. This might not sound too great but after the final exams of class 7 when we had summer vacation, me and my friends decided to walk all the way from school to home which was around 10 kms or 6.2 miles. The thing is, in the summers the temperatures are around 44 degrees C or 111 degrees F which could be quite dangerous and we went around plucking mangoes from the trees and various things and no wonder, I fell quite ill afterwards!
10. The last one is really surprising and funny. I don't think it must have happened to anyone. Once I washed my hair with shampoo ........or at least what I thought was shampoo. But it turned out that my mother had kept the Phenyl- basically a floor cleaner in the shampoo bottle. No wonder I thought the shampoo wasn't working and I did go to school after that but I came back soon halfway through the school as I developed flakes on the scalp or perhaps dandruff and just washed my head- this time with real shampoo and only then I could relax!
This was my list. Which one do you think is the funniest? And if you have something similar, interesting, do write that too. Would be interested to know what weird things people do or happen to them!
I have always loved Discovery Channel and some of the shows there are truly fantastic. Many of them are my favourites. I shouldn't be alive, Man vs wild are just a few of them which can teach you a lot and also inspire you. Thus, with the reference of Discovery channel, here, I am going to tell you a few survival lessons. You never know when you might need them.
IN THE JUNGLE :
1. Landing in quicksand- Lay a pole on the quicksand surface, flop on your back onto the pole, and pull out your legs!
2. Finding direction- Point the hour hand of a watch towards the sun. South direction is between that and the 12 digit on the watch as the north-south line runs halfway between the hour hand and the 12.
3. Giant python attacking from over-hanging branch- Slash at its eyes and nose. They have hard heads - Just hitting with something won't help.
4. Crossing a roaring river- Use a pole as a rudder and deflector, & make it across the river.
5. Coming across a wild dog- Never run away or display submissive behaviour in this case. Charge/yell suddenly! You'll scare the dog back into jungle. Dogs are pack animals & submit to dominant behaviour.
6. Venomous bite by spider- Use the belt as a tourniquet to slow the spread of venom and hope the rescue party has anti-venom. If you make incisions across the bite site & suck out the venom, you may reabsorb the venom through tiny lacerations in your mouth while sucking out the poison blood and applying clay-rich dirt doesn't leach out the venom either.
SNOW SURVIVAL :
1. While hiking, you come across a bear- Don't try to run & climb a tree. Clicking jaws indicate the bear is on the hunt. You can't outrun a bear & most are also good climbers. Trying to stare down a bear won't work. It sees it as aggressive behaviour and attacks, instead display submissive behaviour like dropping in the fetal position & show the bear you are not a threat.
2. Dehydration- If you have corn chips, the oil in the corn chips burns, even in wet, windy conditions thus you can make fire to melt the snow into water.
3. Hunger- If you have nothing else for food but have a wallet and the leather is thin enough to chew, it can be eaten. Yes leather can be eaten..cooked or if not possible, directly, Other foods for survival when there is no food available- tree barks- Some of the most popular edible choices would be aspen, birch, willow, maple, and pine trees, insects - crickets, grasshoppers, ants, caterpillars, worms etc and even chewing on grass is a great way to get some added nutrients into a starving body. Do not eat the grass. Just chew on it to get the juices out and spit it out.
4. White-out Blizzard- Most blizzard deaths are caused by disorientation. Lay out the rope pointing in the direction you were heading and dig a snow cave. After the storm, you pull up the rope and follow the direction
5. Again dehydration- If you are thinking snow is frozen water and there's TONs of it & pop some in your mouth & drink, it actually dehydrates you. It lowers body temperature further & you come close to hypothermia. You can fill the empty chips bag with snow & stick it inside your clothes to melt it but the bag should be 2 layers away from skin. Or you can fill the bag with snow and urinate on it to melt the snow too though it's not the best choice.
6. A monster avalanche while hiking through a valley - Ditch your equipment and make swimming motions as the wave lifts you. It helps you keep you on top of the "wave" and cover your mouth to clear breathing room.
AT SEA :
1. Boat sinks- If you have to pick up only one nearby item, pick a sweater. Most lost-at-sea scenarios end in hypothermia, even in warm climates. Wool insulates, even when wet.
2. For water- When you look at the port side & see several items floating by, and you have to pick something for water, pick up Tarp. It rains often in the tropics now you have the means to collect rain and dew/condensation and can use it for shade and sweat less/ retain water.
3. Protection from Sun- When you are getting dangerously cooked out there, you can use motor oil. The raft's engine has heavy weight motor oil, viscous enough to provide protection from the sun- it can act as a sun screen so you can slather up.
4. Sharks- Use a wooden oar. As scouts approach, you can whack them on the nose with the oar sending them to hopefully distant hunting grounds. If you use a spear or knife to stab the shark, the blood in the water will create a feeding frenzy and you will be knocked out of the raft and devoured.
5. Lack of water- Even if you have been collecting water and it is not enough, you can use a fishing pole. Fish have potable aqueous fluid. You can slice the fish in half, drink the liquid along the spine, and suck the liquid out of the eyes. Gross but anything for survival!
6. Reaching an island - Don't paddle the raft in. Landing on islands is very difficult and dangerous. The breakers can capsize your raft and shred you on the razor sharp coral. If you swim in with raft in tow, the raft may slow and distract you and the deadly wave may smash you on the reef. You should go to the other side of the island. The side of the island not exposed to waves will have safer approaches/landing sites.
- In the sea, if you run out of fresh drinking water and are tempted to drink sea water, it is not a good idea. Drink sea water & your metabolism very quickly goes into crisis. From every cell, water molecules rush off to try to dilute and carry off the sudden intake of salt. This leaves the cells dangerously short of the water (dehydrated) they need to carry out their normal functions. In extreme situations, dehydration will lead to seizures, unconsciousness, and brain damage. Meanwhile, the overworked blood cells carry the salt to the kidneys, which eventually become overwhelmed and shut down. Without functioning kidneys you die. That is why we don't drink seawater. Truly water, water everywhere, not a drop to drink! But there is a theory that you can mix it in some percentage with fresh water to consume.
* One thing you can do if you are stuck out there in a jungle or somewhere with no water source at all is actually drink the fluid from a fresh elephant dung. Pretty disgusting but it could save your life. It's a last resort. There can be harmful bacteria in that water but if you have nothing else to drink, it can buy you some extra time!
Also regarding elephants, they have poor eyesight and if an elephant flattens its ears and curls its trunk, it means the elephant is about to charge.
- Water is so important because people can survive much longer without food but not too long without water. Generally it is said that a human being can survive an average of three to five days(it can vary) without the intake of water, assuming sea-level altitude, room temperature and favorable relative humidity but a human can survive for several weeks without food.
- If you are in the jungle with no food and see an animal hunted by a lion (like raw zebra meat of a lion kill), to ascertain whether it is fresh and can be eaten is - the first sign is vultures- as they only eat fresh meat. Also look out for maggots or if the carcass smells rotten, then obviously it isn't safe to eat.
- For water, if you see reeds surrounding a pool of free-standing water, a dead tortoise nearby, the water isn't safe at all, and is with parasites etc. Always try to drink from fast moving water.
* This was based on the Discovery channel and its games. Although the warning- The information provided is for informational and entertainment purposes only. By using this, you agree that you will not hold me or Discovery liable for any errors in content, or for any action taken based on information provided. Use the information at your own risk.
Here is Chetan Bhagat's article in Maharashtra Times which was in Marathi, translated to English. It was a tough job and I have tried my best. Hope you appreciate it. And excuse me if I have made any mistakes while translating.
'मार्क'वादाची भीतीच वाटते ( Am scared of the whole 'marks' system)
"Best wishes to the readers of Maharashtra Times on the anniversary. Through my English writings, I have reached many people and since Maharashtra has a good tradition of book reading, many young Marathis are also my readers. Finally today I get to talk to you. Even though English may have a larger voice, the real India lies in the regional languages. Therefore if you want to change anything in India, only regional newspapers will work. Today's youth read my books therefore I am thinking of diverting their attention to different topics.
All four books of mine have received great accolades. My decision to leave a good job of Deutsche bank and to become a full time writer was a risky one. On the one hand, you cannot trust today's youth. Today they are on Orkut, the next day they might go to Facebook and Twitter. Even though they might be reading Chetan Bhagat's books today, there is no guarantee that they will like it in the future too. Many Publishers refused to print my first book "Five Point Someone". So I was really dejected. But I thought that anyone can do a job of working in a bank and having my wife working there itself, money was not a big issue. Many people's ego would hurt to ask money from their wives. If you can learn to gulp down your ego, many problems can be solved. And this is not taught in any school.
In the results that were announced yesterday, many got 100 % marks. I am really scared of these marks and percentages. In one commerce college, the cutoff list was at 97%. Just imagine what would be the environment in that class! How fearful would be the students. Each student would be tense. Without thinking about anything else, their whole lives would revolve around marks and only marks. This is a dangerous situation. The problem lies with the education system. We are not educating children but putting them in an elimination round. Those who can't cope up are thrown out and the Government is not doing anything about the education system.
If the Government can't solve the problems, the result, as an example is MNS's revolution. I am not saying that all the revolutions by MNS are appropriate but I feel that they have provided the people's stifled voice a medium and that is why people have supported them. Maharashtrian culture is really wonderful. It's economic growth is more than other states, there are cities like Mumbai and Pune but along with it, there is also the farmer's suicide in the Vidarbha areas and besides this there are issues like corruption which deserve a thought. Another thing- Raj Thackeray by going against the Centre has not done well. The Centre has the pulse of the states. Besides, whether the marathi issue is the remedy, has to be thought by Maharashtrians.
Many times you cannot avoid trouble, which is what I myself have witnessed. During the time of '3 Idiots', it was alleged that I was doing it for publicity. If I had to do that, I would have done that through my books by writing against a politician or something. "Three Mistakes of My life" was against the backdrop of Godhra riots but still there were no issues with it. To make a movie based on a book is really difficult. Many things are changed from the book in the movie and the writers voice is suppressed a bit. I felt I was being made the guinea pig and thus I voiced my opinion. The condition of Indian books and Indian writers isn't particularly good. Even today, books on small children, social subjects, information related, self help books are scarce. There haven't been many writers after R.K.Narayan, Gulzar, Amrita Pritam, Premchand. This is not something to be proud of. On the other hand, in the regional languages, there would be changes in the future. The script of languages would change, mixed languages would come. Even now you can get the idea from the SMSes and Twitter. In Indonesia, they have accepted English script for their Bahasa language. In such times, more importance should be given to get such languages flowing. In some Hindi and Marathi newspapers, it has started, which is worth praising."
* Here is the link to the original article in Marathi, in case someone wants to read it (Even if you don't know marathi, the letters are practically the same as that of Hindi)- http://maharashtratimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/6061352.cms
And although Chetan Bhagat did not retweet as he had promised, he did reply on Twitter- "@achyutktelang will do buddy...just did column so in a bit..thx for the hard work! " And that is fine for me.